On my way home from work tonight, I drove by a house on Hollywood Boulevard festooned with red Christmas lights. An enormous illuminated-from-within plastic Santa Claus stood guard.
Santa did not look happy.
I don't blame him. It was 91 degrees in LA today. It's not even Halloween yet, much less Thanksgiving, much less frigging CHRISTMAS! The season of peace, love, joy, giving, receiving, and guilt is eight full weeks away. We haven't even elected a new president yet, but the people in this house saw fit to start spreading the joy anyway.
Unless you're a Phillies fan, this has already been an exceptionally bad year in just about every way imaginable -- and there's not much reason to think things will get better anytime soon. Quite the opposite, actually. Joy will be in short supply for a lot of people this Christmas, so maybe we should wait with the flocking, tinsel, and twinkling lights until we're at least within shouting distance of the actual day. Let's make it count this year.
I understand the fiscal imperative that prods WalMart and the rest of Retail America to ram these holidays down our unwilling throats six weeks beforehand -- but now the citizens seem to be joining in the madness as well. Could we at least wait until the daytime temperature drops below 85 degrees to start with the ho-ho-hoing?
Give us a break, please. Don't squeeze the trigger of your Xmas Spirit Happy Gun until you see the whites of Santa's eyes...