Life in Hollywood, below-the-line

Life in Hollywood, below-the-line
Work gloves at the end of the 2006/2007 television season (photo by Richard Blair)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Just for the Hell of It -- Week Five

What do I have to do to get you to download a free e-book -- climb in a kangaroo suit and jump all around the stage?

Remember this?  The free e-book download of Zenia offered by author Jim Gallagher to the readers of this blog (on an exclusive basis, I might add) is still good, and will be until the end of September.

But that's just three weeks away.

Did I mention the download is free, as in no money, no obligation, no nothing required other than you clicking on the link to receive the book?

As a matter of fact, I did -- more than once, actually -- and as of today, more than a hundred and seventy people have read the JFTHOI post that brought this offer to your attention.

So how many accepted Jim's generous offer and clicked that link?

Four.  That's right, four downloads of a free book, out of a hundred and seventy.  That, dear readers, is pathetic.

I know what you're thinking. "Well jeeze, how good can a free book be, anyway?  If it was any good, why isn't Mr. Gallagher selling the damned thing? And why should I go to the immense bother of actually clicking a link, then waiting several seconds for the book to download?"


1)  It's pretty darned good.  Nobody was more surprised than I when it landed in my e-mail, and my first thought was "Oh shit -- now I'm going to have to read and pretend I like Jim's book."  Since he's an old friend, I really did have to read it -- but I did not have to pretend to like it, because it turned out to be a good, fast, fun read.

2)  Hey, you try selling a short novella by an unknown, unpublished author.  One way to get such work out is to offer it free, no strings attached, to a select, discriminating audience who has already demonstrated they're smart and like to read -- and that would be you.

3)  Do I even have to say this?  You click on all manner of Internet crap all day long without a second thought, but when a good book is handed to you free of cost or any obligation whatsoever, it's just too much trouble to take a look?

Wow.  That's disappointing, kiddos.

Industry veterans get a pass here.  Most are busy working and dealing with family life in those few precious hours away from the set, and don't have time for downloading(much less reading) e-books.  But the rest of you young wannabes out there might want to consider the karmic implications here. Many of you plan to assault the citadels of the film and television industry one of these days, and when that time comes, you'll arrive without knowing fuck-all about anything other than what you learned in school  -- none of which is remotely relevant to getting a job -- hoping against hope that somebody in the industry will take pity and give you an opportunity to prove yourself.

But really, why should they?  With thousands upon thousands of young wannabes already knocking on its doors, the Industry has all the warm body/cannon fodder it needs for the next five years.  So by what merit do you, having just rolled into town fresh off the academic turnip truck, deserve any kind of a shot?

Well, maybe a few of you have something special to offer. You never can tell.  After you've put in some time learning the basics, you might actually know enough to be somewhat useful on set or in a production office.  Because that's what it's all about: you developing talents and skills the Industry needs, NOT the industry helping you to reach your personal potential in becoming a happy, well-balanced, creatively fulfilled and fully self-actualized human being.

I hate to break it to you, but the film and television industry doesn't give a flying fuck about any of that.  The only reason industry professionals in this town might be interested in you is if you can help them one way or another.

What if all one hundred and seventy of you showed up knocking on the industry doors, but only four of those doors opened?  How would the other hundred and sixty-six feel?

Pretty crappy.  So how do you think I feel when only four readers out of a hundred and seventy bothers to download Jim's free e-book?

Look, you might not like Zenia as much as I did -- you might be indifferent, or even hate it -- but you'll never know unless you give it a chance... just like you're hoping somebody will give you a chance in Hollywood, New York, New Orleans, Georgia, or any of the other places they're grinding out the film and television sausage these days.

Think about it. The only way anybody gets the opportunity to show what they can do in this world is when someone else takes a chance on them -- and right now it's your turn to give Zenia a chance.  What goes around comes around, and one of these days (if you work hard at it) somebody just might be willing to take a chance on you when that's exactly what you need.  

Besides, you've got nothing to lose -- it's free, for chrissakes -- and if you like the book half as much as I did, you'll come out way ahead on the deal.

There are still three weeks to download Jim's free e-book, so get off your cyber-asses and do it, already.

Because I am not getting in that fucking kangaroo suit again...


Phillip Jackson said...

Make that 5 then.

Michael Taylor said...

Thanks, Phil. Hope you like the read.